Heart of the New Waste?

Well, it seems that our illustrious Mayor is at it again. Hot on the heels of the footbridge fiasco, we now learn that Mayor Bronco is planning to ride again, this time getting a shiny new logo and rebranding for the city to replace the outdated and old-fashioned rubbish that he commissioned two years ago.

Forgive me if I don't exactly injure myself applauding this glorious initiative. Part of my cynicism stems from a general mistrust of all things marketing, and the other part comes from having another glance at my property tax bills. $25 million on a bridge that I'll never use, and in all probability few other people will either. Blue cart recycling at $8 a month, $3 per day to park at a station that was free to park at until last week. We are being gouged, and gouged hard in the middle of a recession, and for what? Infrastructure upgrades for the long term? Social programs to help people who have been laid off find work? No, a couple of bridges and half a dozen new signs at the edge of the city.

Unsurprisingly, every consultant's favorite mayor has already commissioned a group of consultants to advise on whether or not we need some rebranding. At a cost of $100000 they came up with the recommendation that Calgary needs a new image to replace last year's image, and it just so happens that they are in the rebranding business.

Jeepers - here's an ide for you Dave. Next time you get one of these silly notions about hiring some consultants in Spain or Toronto or whatever, just stop. Lean out of the office window and ask the first person to walk down 7th Ave what they think. Listen, say thankyou and give them $1000. Want to know what to do about crime? Yell across the street and ask the cops coiming out of the CPS gym what they think, don't go dialling long distance to a firm of professional gobshites in New York or wherever. Chances are they've never even heard of Calgary.

By the time this exercise is over, the chances are that Mayor Dave will have spent over a million bucks on a few words that mean absolutely nothing to the Calgarians that paid for it. "Heart of the New West?" What does it mean? Will cowboys ride to Stampede on Segways? Will bandits have shoot-outs in Chinatown with laser guns? It's meaningless - the consultants might as well have said "Calgary - bingo jango dig dog dash," it has the same level of nonsense and instant forgetability that the other slogan has.

I think it's time we told you someting Dave - your tailor is ripping you off. Those fancy clothes that everyone tells you you're wearing. It's lies. Turn one of your CCTV cameras on yourself and look at the evidence. Your haberdashery consultants have pulled the wool over your eyes, but over the rest of your body there is not a single thread. $25 million bridges? Bogus. A bridge is a bridge is a bridge, sure it may look nice, but after a few years of being tagged and trampled on, they all look pretty much the same.

Tell the consultants to ply their trade elsewhere and hire some unemployed construction workers to take down the old signs and put up new ones that say "Welcome to Calgary. Passing through or staying awhile, we hope you enjoy our city. Just don't live here because you won't be able to afford the taxes."